spare me your judgement

moving .

Fri, 08 May 2009 08:41:24 GMT

so, i said in this post that maybe i'll move journals after . well actually im pretty sure i've been going on and on about it in my past entries. and just forgot about it. hahaha. i created the journal like, two, three months ago. summer is coming to a close so-- it's time, maybe? i've out grown kuroi_shin in both name and content. my profile til now is still under construction but maybe that's because im just too lazy. (ah, not maybe. reaally.)

hahaha. okay . so friends, lovers and lj-men/women. i'll be adding those who matter over at the still under construction journal.

moved to thistealistoxic .

it was fun. :]

alex, why?

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:34:52 GMT

were you drinking at eight in the morning.

--

if you dont know how to write, then you shouldnt write at all .

wow

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 07:34:57 GMT

i've graduated.

wow. i don't exactly know what i'll do now. it's summer and wow. i'm bored out of my wits. after march 25, i'll be buried under countless activities up until may.

i've graduated.

and we had the ball last night. it was all sorts of awesome. with the eating, dancing, bubble blowing, hugging, laughing, cam whoring and generally making asses out of ourselves. but there was one thing i wish i could've done. or at least done better. but hey ho, it's already passed so there's nothing i can do. goldilocks was right, i will eventually regret things-- not because of what i did, but what i did not do. the opportunity was there. oh well.

i've graduated.

and i'm still confused. what should i do now?

i've graduated.

still, i'm drinking milk and eating doughnuts in front of the laptop, barely moving an inch or two.

recycle bin was right.

shining {re} collection

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:14:55 GMT

ahh. i am so bored. there's nothing more to do. it's only 9 in the evening. i am so bored.

hmm. okay since i am bored and this is my blog, then i am going to write about the different, more boring aspects of my life! woo hoo!

school; is boring . there's nothing else to do. but you know, to wait for our graduation. i'm going to miss that residence of eleven years, the teachers and the familiarity of it all. from now on it's the uni life, independence, irresponsibility and what have you. i can't say i'm not the least bit worried but yeah, come what may.

something else; is indescribable. i feel like i'm at the point where i want to move forward and go for the proverbial 'goal' or just give up and leave things as it is. i don't know. it's like testing the temperature of water. put a hand or even just a finger in so that there's minimal damage to your body if the water is too hot or too cold. then, we can always just change the temperature. but here, i don't know if i can just test the temperature and suffer minimal or no damage.

but thing is, i want to test the waters. i don't really care if my hand or my whole arm gets burnt or frostbitten.

some other thing; it's odd. how the silence gets to me now. it's strange and unnerving. i was used to it. but now i'm not. does this mean my inter-personal skills arent as 'markedly low' as what that test states?

edit @22:14 pm:
umm. i got side tracked. went on facebook and pet society-ed.

hahahahaha.

home wrecker

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 14:16:21 GMT

friends, lovers and countrymen.

hell week has ended baby!! and in two weeks time i will be graduating! i'm partly happy and partly sad. because BABY i am GRADUATING. and then the part where i'll miss my friends and some of my teachers and i will miss the school where i've resided for the past eleven years. O:

baby i've got a spankin new laptop! Acer's Aspire 2930. OOHHH. yeahh man! hahaha. my god. it has been like a barrage of good things here and there. hahah. i haven't been here so long. and maybe i'll be relocating after grad. who knows. :))

anyway, tomorrow's the start of bumming around and practicing for graduation rites. WOOHOO. also, remeniscing about highschool and st.scho in generaaalll. :]

okay. HAPPYYY. :] GOOD NIGHT y'all.

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 13:38:25 GMT

my hearts about to burst into a thousand pieces. so it must be true.

--

DO NOT WANT

this and that. hers or yours. or both. i dont want any of it so.

give it up.

sick and tired part infinity.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:25:56 GMT

idontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontvidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidontidont

KNOW

what to do.

i did not ask for any of this to happen. do not say it is my responsibility.

what i want is to graduate ALREADY and have FUN.

and no, i don't think that you people are in my idea of FUN.

kasi wala akong magawa.

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:02:27 GMT

during math wherein we take up logarithms. myra read to me her oh-so-wunderful-book.

when i say

jump?

do you say

how high?

-

or was it that you used to but now you don't.

not now. not ever since.

-

wunderful book i say.

pure hearted romantica

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:38:00 GMT

words will bleed on words

feelings upon emotions

like watercolor into paper

the end starts

where

the start ends

because

there is no remedy

for love

but to love more

---------------------

cred; H.D.T

my heart stops everytime

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 12:50:49 GMT

cont;

if you are a terrorist.

then i am a prisoner, i said.

she smiles knowingly.

i know.

how, i ask.

i just do.

[Ladybug (Coccinelle); dir: John Torres ]

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:09:43 GMT

subway

i alone
will be this quiet
beside you

just give me time
a little time
and i will capture your heart.

it took me a while to say this but
i will give you enough attention
stare at you ,
look at you from afar,
i will see
how you walk
how you fix your hair
what roads you choose to get to a place
how you will want to ride ,
for whom you will ask for help
i want to know who you talk to ,
what clothes you wear,
what food you eat,
how you sip from a straw,

are you okay?
yes .

so the terrorist
decided to draw
images using
the telephone

everyone planned.

free!

i am a terrorist, i said.
she just smiled
ans took my hand.

i know what you mean.

i finally met my match.

-------------

AHHHHHHHHHH . HE'S COMING TOMORROW.

love love

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 14:18:05 GMT

we've entered the month of love. but really, i don't feel the love. LOL. okay so i've been doing nothing but complain and bitch about school, so this time i wont. HAHAHA. :)

i'm finally going to take trip round Malaysia to GO AND VISIT one of my loves, sugarmeth. i just told her over at ym a while ago and we were both psyched. and after went a little psycho about that, we went on talking about hairy gay cave men. hahahahahaha. it's awesome i swear. ♥ MY FRIEND WAIT FOR MEEEEH. :]

so, yes. that is my first good news for this month of hearts and love. i'll make up for all the bitching and cryptic shit i've given you guys . hahahaha. 8DDD

i've to go and fix stuff. :) bye guys hope you have a good week :D.

AND, LOOK MA ! NO BITCHING ! :D!

achilles' tendon

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 15:40:02 GMT

The weird thing with people is, they love to complicate things. I don't get why people (consciously or not) want to or try to make things harder for themselves, just because they feel scared or hurt or whatever. i dont know with most of you, but i'd rather things done and over with.

i dont know. a lot of people say that i'm pretty laid back (a.k.a apathetic) and i wont deny them that. because really, isn't it the easier to do?

and i said this to a friend of mine,

"wouldnt it be great if the world would be full of people like me? there wouldnt be any sort of drama."

well. i'd like to try that.

--

in other news! WE GOT A DOG. a lovely three-month old Shih Tzu with an amazing blood line! like, most of his grand parents are like, winners of competitions and breed blah. hahaha. trust my father to get a dog like that. ANYWAY. his name is...

CHICO ♥

i will post spiffingly cute pictures once i get to move around freely and take pictures of him playing with my cute, pink, stuffed-toy hippopotamus.

although i like turtles and cats more, chico is too cute to resist. CHICOOO. and he's quiet too! chicoooo! <3

hahahaha.

peace outt.

EDIT: hahaha. i just realized. CHICO reminds me of that kid from the boku no pico series. HAHAHA

SHINY CAMERA .

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:33:15 GMT

SO, i've only got to upload most of the pictures last night. HAHAHA. i'm such an amateur but look forward to my picspams from now on! ( i hope. ) this was taken a few days ago, in the morning, when i just woke up. hahaha. GREAT ISNT IT? the awesome DSLR 100D.

HAHAHAHA. okay. peace out folks, still have to prep some stuff for marikina~

ha - ha

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 10:23:50 GMT

i am enjoying this, very much.

i miss summer-- when i can do things at my own pace and time without people being irritable and without them irritating me in return.

oh the glorious, glorious days of summer , where hath thou gone ?

i'm complaining too much, i know.

but there are people who love being busy and there are people who dont.
just as there are people who have high tolerance levels,
there are also people that have the emotional capability of a teaspoon.
maybe just even the head of a toothpick.
or the vacuole of a plant cell.

oh, snap.

i wonder

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:04:35 GMT

hmm.

the internet's becoming more and more boring.
or maybe that's just fandom.
or maybe it's me outgrowing things.

i do not know.

it goes fast, most of the time.
it doesn't usually last more than a month or so.

but there are instances wherein,
it takes me almost a full year to realize.
but sometimes
it does not even last two weeks.

or maybe it's not
the internet
nor the fandom
nor myself
maybe i just have too much time to spare.

[a place where the side walk ends]

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 14:53:25 GMT

ang lahat ng bagay ay may hangganan

buhay, pagiibigan at pagkakaibigan

ngunit ang tanong dito

ay hindi, "may hangganan ba tayong dalawa?"

pero, "hanggang kailan na lang natin kakayanin?"

[ before forty three students disappear ]

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:00:10 GMT

the red ones help me fly and the blue ones help me fall .

then what do the purple ones do?

do they help me fly?
do they help me fall?

or do they make me go crazy
in thinking that,
just when i'm flying,
they'll cut off my wings
and leave me to fall.

-------------------------------------

woosh. ganto nga talaga tayo, kapatid (brother, kapangalan.)

-------------------------------------

ako ba ay papaliparin mo?
o hahayaan mo ba akong mahulog ?

sige, sabihin mo nga,
ano ang gagawin mo?

[music when the lights go out]

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 03:19:56 GMT

it's august 16.
woke up at 7 in the morning,
to the sound of an acoustic guitar
mere inches from my head.

----------

this is sort of,
sad.

----------

time to go prepare lunch.

[ kung tuyo na ang luha mo, aking bayan; ni amado hernandez]

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:37:17 GMT

an excerpt;

lumuha ka kung sa puso ay nagmaliw na ang layon,
kung ang araw sa langit mo ay lagi nang dapithapon,
kung ang alon sa dagat mo ay ayaw nang magdaluyong
kung ang bulkan sa dibdib mo ay hindi man umuungol,
kung wala nang maglalamay sa gabi ng pagbabangon,
lumuha ka nang lumuha't ang laya mo'y nakaburol.

-----------------

i was studying for our long due panitikan long test and i came across the periodical questionnaire.

old filipino literature is actually quite nice. (it was written on august 13, 1930) since august 13 is tomorrow, i'm posting excerpts today. ^^

how's everyone, i hope you're all alright. not going crazy or anything of the like.

-----------------

dumarating ang panahong nasasaid, natutuyo ang luha.
kaya't apoy na kulay dugo ang dadaloy at lalagot sa gaposs ng tanikala.

[the fall of icarus. re; insensitivity]

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:10:48 GMT

because i think literature class is all kinds of awesome.

If you're suffering or happy, no one gives a fuck. It's your suffering or your happiness. Not everyone else's. The world will keep on turning, no matter what happens. It's not going to stop for you, or me.

So this is a world filled with Apathy.

Someone screams, no one gives a shit. A girl gets raped and murdered.

Someone faints, no one does anything, he ends up in the ER.

Some dictator decides that Jews are useless, in comes the Holocaust and they get sent to concentration camps. They all end up dead.

mm. i think its rather sad. but i cant do anything about it. suuuure i might sound like a hypocrite, but what can one single person do right?

anyway, im just reiterating on our literature teacher's points. she's all kinds of awesome,really. if we were given this shitty literature teacher, i'd have changed all my college courses. but here she comes~ i'm so relieved ♥

so, life is still as busy as before. but it still lets me use the computer.

FANDOMM. ;_; what has happened to theeee. D:

[ panaghoy sa estero ni jack alvarez; a poem]

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:30:36 GMT

‘Sintahimik ng maburak na estero
Ang aking pagluha
Walang magtatangkang
Haplusin ang tubig
Ni dinggin ang pag-agos
O kaya’y langhapin
Sapagkat anghit ang hininga
Ng hanging umiihip sa mukha
Bumabalong ang kulay-alkitran
Lasang apdo ang bawat patak
Ngunit dito ang mga layak
Nagpalutang-lutang,nagpapatianod
Maruming kanal ma’y
Isang lagusan din
Na malayang papadaluyin ang luha
Hanggang sa marating ang karagatan.

[a world without happiness, isnt a world at all. ]

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:07:28 GMT

it's like taking a breath of fresh air in a place where there's no such thing as pollution. your head clears up. and you think much, much clearer and everything just seems so right.

when my life seemed like it was in a constant state of vertigo.

everything just goes back into place again.

my world is safely spinning back on its axis, and not barreling towards that flaming ball of energy called the sun. and for that, i'm glad.

i might be confusing alot of people.

TL;DR : i am happy.

and well, the happiness drains quickly, but it refills again and again and again. and i hope it keeps on doing that because when someone is out of happiness... then that's just really sad. and depressing.

so friends, smile at someone you havent seen smile for so long. they might smile back.
try and make someone laugh. it'll lessen the pain of having problems and think that someone's got their back. (or at least, can make them laugh.)
talk to someone you havent talked to in a long time, they'll appreciate it.

if i'll laugh, then you'll laugh. and if you'll laugh, then the whole world will laugh with you. ~ Kanjani∞

smile. laugh. talk. be friends. be good friends, and laugh everything away. life's too short to be wasted. live every moment as if it was your last.

ahh~ refreshing isn't it? :)